Elisabeth

My neighbour 'Elisabeth' very carefully spaced her children.  They were all at least 4 years apart.

She had 4 children and the youngest was still a preschooler so he would come over to our house and play with my eldest daughter who was a few years younger than him.  He went to a pre-school fairly close by and when he graduated from pre-school there was a big ceremony and then party.  Her eldest daughter enjoyed coming over to practice English.  Elisabeth (fairly sensibly) didn't think it was a good idea to space children too close together!  When we first met I had just one child - I suspect she watched with slight horror as over the next few years, two more arrived!

I often went to visit Elisabeth.  She was literally in the house next door. Our gates were next to each other.  My sitting room wall was her kitchen wall.  She thought it was very strange that I tried to get my kids to bed at around 7.  Kids, like everyone else, were supposed to have a massive sleep in the afternoon, and then stay up until late, until after 10pm.

That was something I never adjusted to culturally.  I knew it would be too much of a stretch for me.  Even if we got into that routine I felt there was an even higher chance of us all being horribly overtired all the time.  As the Mom of three kids, three and under, anything that might make me tireder was a really bad idea.  To some extent my life revolved around making sure we (the kids and I) got an after lunch nap until about 2, and that they went to bed at 7ish.   

Elisabeth had a nice house.  It was a long room sectioned off into areas, a kitchen, a sitting/dining area and a sleeping area.  Very well decorated with gold coloured cushions and coverings.  Like most people they usually slept outside at night.  Beds were spread around the hoosh (yard) doubling as sofas during the day.

When I visited we usually sat outside.  Often she would have a little pot of bakhoor (incense) smoking away on the ground to the side of where we would sit.  A small pot of smouldering charcoal with incense 'rocks' to make the scented smoke.  This was always a bit concerning as I usually tried to make sure very hot things were well out of reach of my children, and not where could be fallen onto , or knocked over by a ball.  She was generous, kind and often visited me - it was more usual for her to visit me than me her.  Calm and intelligent, she was several years older than me with lots of practical advice.

One day, fairly soon after we moved in, we were robbed during the night.  The thieves had come in whilst we slept, through our outside bathroom door, picking away at the concrete and then unbolting it from the inside.  They hadn't taken much, just our phones and money...  We had slept through.  Although it was a blessing that we had slept through, it was also a really uncomfortable feeling.  Our phones had been on our bedside tables.  The thieves had walked in-between, me and my daughter's bed (just my arm stretch away), to take the phones.  I was so thankful that we hadn't woken up, that we had not been attacked, and our losses were minimal, but I was still pretty shocked.  

Matt went to find a policeman, and whilst he did that, I went next door to Elisabeth.  At the time we were new to the neighbourhood, we'll only been there a couple of months, but she (as always) welcomed me in, and sat and listened as I told her what happened.

When it came time for us to leave on furlough to America, it was her that wanted to 'honor me' by inviting the neighbourhood ladies over to my hoosh (yard) for a 'tea party' one evening.  In that culture if you want to honour someone, or show you care, you should visit them - this is more 'loving and honoring ' than inviting people to your own house.  At the time my oven was broken, so I asked if I could use hers to cook some brownies.  She said yes and I took over two trays.  She assured me she knew what she was doing and not to worry - she would bring them in the evening.

I smelt them cooking, and then I smelt the burning smell.. strongly and for quite a long time..  

She never mentioned what happened to them, and I never asked!

Here she is visiting us right before we left for furlough: